Category: Life & Success

Here’s a stereogram, a picture which otherwise doesn’t make any sense.

However if you look at it in a particular way, you can see a beautiful 3D picture with a mountain range in the background, Sun rising and a Pair of birds (Flamingoes) in front.

The way to see it is that you need to balance the Right Eye’s vision and Left Eye’s vision equally on the picture to be able to see it.

Hold the picture in front of your eyes 1 foot away and instead of looking at the picture, look through the picture keeping your focus not on the picture but behind to some object in the far away distance behind.

Soon the picture will emerge and you will be able to see it in complete 3D.

Another way to see it is that with both hands, hold the picture initially close to your nose/ eyes with your focus in the distance and not to the picture. So the picture will obviously appear hazy/ blurred to the eyes. Very slowly keep moving the picture further away from the nose while keeping your focus behind and not on the picture. At a certain point, you will notice something different appearing on the picture and a 3D image will be seen.

Enjoy !!

 

Personal Goal Setting 

Goal Setting is an important activity that one must do at the beginning of every year. I have personally been doing this for more than 15 years and it has given me excellent results. Many people ask me what is the right way to do this. The purpose of this post is to explain how one should create a personal goal sheet.

Here’s how it is done.

1) Take a sheet of paper (Avoid a soft copy). Handwritten goal sheets are better. Give it a title: ‘Goal Sheet 2022’ or ‘My Goals for 2023’

2) Put the date on top as the date on which you want the goal to be achieved. For an annual goal, I usually put it as 31st Dec of that year. (31-12-2022)

3) Identify which all aspects you’d like to have goals related to. Work, Finance, Family, Health & wellbeing, Relationships, Travel, Learning, Hobbies, etc. Try to include all that’s important for you.

4) For each of the above aspect, write down your goal in a way that it’s neither too specific(detailed) nor too loose(vague). So you’d write I have purchased a 2 Bedroom apartment at a good location in Mumbai City, rather than writing I have  purchased an east facing 2 Bedroom apartment measuring 1200 Sq Ft on the 10th floor in the XYZ complex of Santacruz in Mumbai city. That becomes too specific.

5. The goal must essentially be written in present tense since the universe does not understand the Future. The only thing it understands is the NOW. So write each of your goal statement as if you have already achieved it.

We don’t write ‘I will earn xyz amount every month’ that’s future tense. Instead we write ‘I am earning xyz amount every month’. That’s present tense.

So we write goals as ‘I have successfully brought down my weight to 60 Kgs’ or ‘ My weight is consistently maintained at 60 kg for the last 6 months’ or ‘My BP is within the Normal range of 120/80, or ‘I had a wonderful holiday at Maldives this year’ or ‘I have earned xyz amount this year through my book sales’ or ‘My relationship with xyz is wonderful’ or ‘I have received a promotion due to my excellent  performance this year’ or ‘ I have successfully completed my certification course in Quality Management’ .

5) Have big goals, but ensure that they are achievable. Make sure that they are not the kind of goals that are practically impossible for any human to achieve. If at the back of your mind, you yourself believe that these goals are impossible, then they may end up not manifesting them at all.

6)  Put your signature at the end of the sheet. This is done just to affirm your commitment to your goal.

Note that this goal sheet is to be kept personal & confidential – do not make it public. Keep it in a place where you would come across it a couple of times in a month or quarter. Read it once calmly whenever you happen to see it. While you go through it, try to maintain a deeply conscious state of being and a mind that’s calm and non judgmental.

We are basically dropping an intent into the pure quantum field of immense possibilities and then the universe will partner with you to make these goals come into reality.

You’ll be surprised when you read your goal sheet at the end date. My experience is that very often almost 70-80% of my goals have actually come true.

Wish you all the best in achieving your goals !!

Multitasking is a concept which has been highly misunderstood. Most people who I’ve  asked this question have responded that Multitasking means simultaneously being engaged in 2-3 or more tasks so that we get more tasks done in less time.

However, if an individual tries to focus on say 3 tasks simultaneously, what will result is a lesser than 100% attention on each task. Which means that if he/she is trying to do 3 tasks simultaneously, each task will get only 33.3 % attention and therefore there’s a chance that due to 66.6 % inattention, that task might get negatively affected. We will not be able to give our 100% attention to each task.

As it is, these days we are tremendously distracted, and rarely give our full attention to what we are doing. While we are eating, we are talking, watching TV, chatting on our mobile, reading, talking with someone etc. While we are driving we are answering calls or texting which often leads to accidents. Multi tasking, done this way can be nothing else but harmful.

The purpose of this post is to explain to you the correct way to multitask without losing our attention and concentration on any task.

To understand this, we will first have to understand that most of the tasks that we perform, essentially would comprise of two types of time components.

1. Value adding time (VA Time)

2. Non Value adding time (NVA Time)

VA time is that time where we are actually doing something that is a part of the Process for completing that task. NVA time is basically idle time or waiting time.

Let me give an example. If I am preparing stock for use in soup, The following steps would be involved in this task. let’s call it Task 1.

1.  Chop vegetables (say Beans, Carrot and Corn ) 5 Min- VA time

2. Pour water in a pot and add the chopped vegetable to it- 2 min – VA time

3. Keep it for boiling – Simmer it for 1 hour – NVA time

4. Check if stock is ready and turn off the heat source – 2 Min- VA time

5. Allow stock to cool for 5-7 minutes. – 7 Min- NVA time

6. Strain the Stock using a suitable strainer- 10 Min- VA time

7. Transfer the  stock to a bottle or jar and refrigerate for future use. – 5 Min- VA time.

If you study the above steps, VA steps are (Step 1, 2, 4, 6, 7 ) and NVA steps are (Step 3, 5).

Now, let’s say that I want to perform another task, Task 2, i.e. doing the dishes or mopping the floor, (which will take about an hour), I will have to parallel Task 2 with the NVA time of  Task 1.

In addition to the above two tasks, if my daughter wants me to help her with some math sums for 5-7 minutes, then I will have to parallel this task 2 with the next available NVA time of Task 1.

This way, I am actually performing three tasks in a particular span of 1-2 hours, however, at any point in time, each activity is getting my 100% attention.

This multitasking happens as shown below:

If you study the figure above, you will note that the Task 2 is scheduled in a way that it starts and completes within the NVA time of task 1. It can use the entire NVA time of task 1 or part of the NVA time of task 1. In case of Part usage as is the case here, it still keeps certain NVA time that still remains available for a third task – Task 3 which can be scheduled in the remaining NVA time available as shown. Again, as before, it should start and finish within the remaining NVA time.

Note that there is no VA time of one task that is overlapping withe the VA time of another task. This is very important to ensure that our attention to each task being performed remains 100% at all time.

Anyone who wants to Multi-task must follow this approach.

 

Very often, despite putting in a lot of effort, we do not get desired results. We often wonder why we are not able to succeed even after putting in so much effort. Well.. the problem often does not lie in the amount of total effort that goes in, but instead the amount of effort that is actually put into the moment (NOW) while performing the task.

Let me give you an example. Let’s say you have a metal plate and want to make a hole in it. Let’s assume that we have a tool and are applying a force of 10 Kgf i.e.  98 Newtons or let’s say Approx 100 Newtons. to make that hole. Now look at the figure and tell me whether this tool will be able to make the hole.

Obviously your answer will be in the negative. The reason why we would not be able to make the hole is that only 10% force is reaching the spot where the hole is to be made whereas 90 % of the force is getting spread on areas where it is not required.

However, don’t you think this is what exactly happens when we are putting effort on a particular task. We are so distracted that out of our entire attention, barely 10% is getting into the task that we are performing and the rest 90% is getting withered and wasted elsewhere. Isn’t it natural that we wouldn’t achieve accomplishment of goals.

I have often observed people so distracted in almost everything that they do. When they are eating, they are simultaneously talking, with someone or are on their phone, looking into their mobiles checking messages, watching television or a game, thinking about something that happened in the morning, or worrying about a presentation that they need to deliver in the afternoon. not even 5% of their attention is in eating. The food is just mechanically going down their mouth to the stomach. And then they wonder why they suffer from all kinds of health issues, digestive disorders, indigestion and are unable to get the required nutrition from what they eat. With just 5% attention in the eating process, what else should they expect.

So, what we need to  do is to focus ourselves into the present moment while we are performing the task. Actually, the Present Moment i.e. the NOW is where everything is happening, every action takes place only in the NOW.

However, while we live our life, our mind doesn’t allow our attention or awareness to remain fully in the present moment. It keeps jumping around like a drunken monkey into the Past and Future without being in the NOW.

So, as shown in the figure below, if we are able to ensure that we are fully present in the NOW moment, then the entire effort gets concentrated at one point and the job will get done in a moment. In fact, if we follow the principle of ‘One Pointed Awareness’ we will be able to do the same task as before in 1/10th of the effort.

So, here’s what we simply need to do, in order to make our life effortless. We must always be in the NOW with One pointed awareness (Ekagrata) Ek = One , Agr = Point. When we focus on a particular task with full attention we suddenly get into a zone where things become effortless. We always have a choice, to work with effort or to work effortlessly. Obviously, the sensible choice would be to work effortlessly.

When we are eating, we must just eat, when driving, just drive, when working on an assignment, just be 100% immersed into it.. and we will soon realize how impactful our work becomes and what magical results we achieve effortlessly.

However, for that to happen, we will have to be in the Present moment without allowing our mind to distract us. That way, we will get the job done with less effort and will also not feel tired in the process.

Wish you a wonderful day ahead, deeply immersed in what you are doing every moment in the NOW !!

 

Time is a resource that if managed well can significantly impact one’s productivity and success in life.

For every individual, the following two factors are important in life..

1. Effectiveness – i.e. Achieving the desired End-Result or Objective
2. Efficiency– i.e. Doing it in the minimum possible inputs or resources

Effectiveness is achieved by being focused on the Goal and then doing whatever is required to achieve that goal.

In contrast, Efficiency is defined as the ratio of Output to Input.

In order to increase efficiency, we need to either

1. Increase our output for the same input.. or
2. Achieve the same output, but with a decrease in the inputs.

If you closely look at all the inputs shown in the figure above, you will realize that we can manage / adjust/ manipulate/ reorganize all other inputs except Time.

Time is a resource that cannot be managed at all. We can’t save a bit of time today and use it tomorrow. It just comes and goes. 

The reality is that we cannot manage time, instead we have to manage ourselves within the available time.

In this post, I am listing 20 guidelines that can help one manage time better. For many of these points, a separate detailed post will follow.

1. We need to first change our attitude towards time. We must start valuing time, i.e our own time and other’s time too, by being punctual and disciplined.
2. We need to be clear on our goals- both long term goals and short term goals.
3. We need to identify where our time goes by writing a time log so that we become aware as to where we are spending our time and what proportion of our time goes in value adding and Non value adding activities.
4. We must start our day by writing a To-Do list of all activities that need to be accomplished during the day.
5. Once a To-Do list is made, we must prioritize tasks based on certain criteria and then pick up tasks to do based on their priority.
6. We must keep ourselves focused on the list and keep crossing / checking tasks as we complete them. Unfinished tasks must be moved to the next day’s list with a revised priority.
7. We must invest time in activities such as Planning, Organizing, Scheduling, Relationship building, Forecasting, Budgeting etc, which happen to be Q2 activities of the Time Matrix (I will explain this in a separate post)
8. We need to identify Time Wasters i.e. tasks that we spend time in regularly, which are neither directly nor indirectly related to our goals.
9. We need to figure out different ways that can help us complete our tasks in lesser time. Innovating the process can help us achieve reduction in time.
10. Before making time commitments to others, we must do a realistic assessment of how much time the activity would take and then accordingly make promises to others. If required keep a small buffer to save you just in case there are delays.
11. We must identify our Prime Time i.e. the time of the day at which our body is at its peak energy level.  Then we must do our toughest tasks during our Prime Time.
12. We must learn how to Multi-task effectively. Multitasking is a very misunderstood concept. In a separate post, I will try to explain what is the correct way to Multi-Task.
13. We must start delegating certain tasks to others (Our family members or subordinates/ colleagues at the workplace). However it is important to first train them on performing that task well.
14. We must avoid procrastination of tasks. The ones that are difficult or overwhelming are often pushed ahead. We must break them into smaller manageable chunks or convince ourselves of the benefits of accomplishing them.
15. We must consciously keep ourselves away from people who kill our time i.e. distract us from our goals and end up wasting our time.
16. Once we pick up a task to complete, we must learn how to deal with interruptions and how to maintain continuity after an interruption. At times we must isolate ourselves during certain tasks to avoid being interrupted and disturbed by others.
17. We must keep a check on our time spent on Social Media (Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, Twitter etc) which can be major distractions.
18. We must create checklists to remind us of tasks, use reminders, alarms or Pop-ups to ensure that we don’t forget important tasks.
19. We could use Online services such as Online Banking, Shopping etc which can save us a lot of time that would otherwise go in traveling, parking and physical movement.
20. We need to understand the Pareto Principle 80:20 Principle i.e. we need to focus on those 20% tasks that make an 80 % impact on our life

Remember that yesterday is a cancelled cheque, tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is the only CASH that you have. so spend it wisely.

For any individual to be successful at the workplace or in personal life, the ability to work together in interdependence with others is absolutely essential. We must have the ability to operate in synergy with our stakeholders.

We call this skill as Interpersonal skill.  Although we call it a skill, in reality it is a Competence and like every other competence it has a Knowledge, Skill and Attitude component.

• Knowledge about people, their background, preferences etc,
• Skill to interact, get along with others, deal with conflict, collaborate and
• Attitude of genuineness, love, concern, caring, trust, empathy, forgiveness,

At the core of all this, however lies the ability to quickly build ‘Rapport and Relationship’ and maintain it over the years.

There are very few professions where one would not need to work together with others. From a peon to director, everyone needs to interact with people (colleagues, seniors, subordinates, people from other departments, vendors, Service providers etc)

Unfortunately, people don’t give enough importance to building good relationships and therefore are unable to achieve desired level of success.

I believe that one must invest time in building relationship as the first step in any activity be it at work or at home. I have noticed that the biggest of big problems can be resolved if our relationship with people are good whereas the smallest of small problem can give us enough headache if our relationships are  bad. What this means is that the size of the problem actually doesn’t matter. What really matters is the quality of our relationships.

Lot of people believe in building need-based relations. They maintain connect only when in need. After their job is done they don’t bother to maintain connect. When such people call up someone and talk sweetly, the other person knows that this sweet talk is momentary and only to get some work done. It is more or less a conditional relationship, just to get /take something from others. I don’t think these kind of relationships really work.

Good relations are built based on a foundation of giving and not taking.

I recently came across a very insightful article by Dr. Frank Kinslow and here’s what he has written ..

*You-Me-Us*
(By Dr. Frank Kinslow)

A connection between two people is actually all about three entities.
For instance if you and I are friends, then there is the “you” entity, the “me” entity and, where we two overlap and bond, the “us” entity.

You are responsible for you and I am responsible for me and we are together responsible for that part of our lives that overlap and influence each other.

I like to represent this you – me – us triad as two overlapping circles with a shared common area between them.
The overlapping “we” area is often referred to as a vesica piscis revealed in varied disciplines from science to religion.

We are individuals beyond our relationship but when we come together we create a synergy far greater than the sum of our individual lives.
The “us”, the vesica piscis, is a vibrant, seething, presence which is created when we merge and it can live long after we separate in the moments and the memories of all those we have touched.

So what we bring to a relationship is of ultimate importance.
If the ‘YOU’ and the ‘I’ come to take from each other, they create a wounded vesica piscis, distorted by their own cravings. Those distortions are amplified many times over and are ultimately damaging to both and all that we touch.

If one of us comes to give and the other take the vesica piscis is healthier but still wanting.

However, when both come together with the idea of giving the vesica piscis miraculously transforms into an ocean of love and out of this love new and wonderful worlds are created. When we enter a relationship aware of our united non dual spirit, giving is the natural result. It really is the most amazing experience two people can have.

Unfortunately, Humans are losing the ability to give effortlessly and unconditionally. But that is easy to fix. It is after all our natural state of being.
We simply need to let our essence mingle and merge with the essence of others. Then, awash in the waves of mutual love, turn to the next waiting heart. – Dr. Frank Kinslow

Have a fantastic week ahead and build wonderful relationships that will last a lifetime.

We all consider ourselves to be responsible people. That’s the way other people would want us to be or that’s how organization’s would want their employees to be. Responsible.

Let’s try to understand what is responsibility. If we break the word Responsibility into two words, we get Response + Ability . So, Responsibility means the ability to Respond. Now let’s try to understand what is the meaning of a Response.

For that, let’s take a scenario where there is a stimulus i.e. an event, after which we need to take an action or give a reply. There are two ways in which this action can be taken.

1. Immediate or instant action after the event or stimulus
2. Action that is taken after a short delay or Gap

Now, most people tell me that an instant action would be better. However this is where I differ.

An instant action is called as a Reaction, as show in the figure below:

The problem with a reaction is that it is instant, and therefore doesn’t allow us time to think and apply our mind before taking the action or decision or giving a reply. Therefore there is a chance that our action might not be a very thoughtful one and we might have to repent later.

In contrast, an action that is taken after a Gap is called as a Response. This is shown in the figure below

Here, the GAP gives us time to think and consciously choose our response.

Dr. Viktor Frankl has very rightly stated that between a stimulus and a response, there lies a gap, and in that gap lies the power to choose our response and in that response lies our growth and freedom.

If we consider ourselves to be responsible, we must consciously respond every time. This means that every time there is a stimulus, we must stop for a moment, think and then consciously take a decision or make a choice of our action.

People who think that a Gap means a delay have misunderstood the concept. This Gap is not a delay, it is a small amount of time, in most cases a few seconds, a few minutes, a few hours, or in some rare cases a couple of days. Nothing more. The Gap is a time duration just adequate to be able to take a good decision pertaining to the matter at hand.

Some people tell me that in Emergencies one cannot keep a gap and therefore will end up reacting. What I would like to remind such people is that emergency teams too are called as Emergency Response teams and not emergency React Teams.

This means that in Emergencies too people are essentially expected to respond.

Except that in such cases the gap will be very small, probably a few seconds. This is made possible by training these teams so well that the same decisions that we would need minutes to take, these people can take in seconds. They are  made aware of all possible scenarios and decision S.O.P is made in advance or by some people is made on the spot based on their experience. This ensures that even in an emergency, the decision is taken properly .

The problem is that some people simply don’t know how to ensure this GAP in day to day situations. A simple solution is that when people ask you to come up with your reply immediately, simply ask for some time. Tell them..”Can I get back to you in 5 minutes or 10 minutes” . You are not asking for a Day or Week, 5-10 minutes is reasonable and ideally justified to make a choice.

So, let’s promise ourselves to always ‘Respond’ and never ‘React’. That way we will never have to repent on things that we shouldn’t have said or things that we shouldn’t have done. That way we can also claim to be Responsible.

 

Here’s a very interesting concept called Locus of control which can have a very big impact on one’s success in life.

Locus of control gives an idea about the extent to which an individual feels that he/she is in control of their lives and things that are happening to them.

In the context of Locus of Control (LOC) There are three types of people in this world:

1. Luck LOC people
2. External LOC People
3. Internal LOC people

Let’s have a look at each type and the consequence of being that type:

1. Luck LOC:

People who have a ‘Luck LOC’ believe that everything that happens to them is a matter of luck. They are firm believers of Fate, Destiny, Luck, God, etc and believe that that is what controls everything and they have absolutely no control on their life and what happens to them.

2. External LOC: 

People who have an ‘External LOC’ believe that everything that happens to them because of others. It could be their parents, teachers, colleagues, friends, boss, customers or practically anyone but not themselves. They too like the earlier case, believe that they have very little or almost no control on what is happening to them.

3. Internal LOC:

People who have an ‘Internal LOC’ in contrast to the above two types have a firm belief that they themselves have a high degree of control on whatever is happening in their life, and if anything Good or Bad is happening it is due to their action or inaction.

Let’s now understand the outcome of the above three types of LOC.

Luck LOC people when confronted with failure or success, simply attribute it to their fate, destiny or god. Success too is attributed to Luck and same is with failure. They never take ownership of their actions, and happily declare that things just happened because it was destined to happen that way. They also do not take any action to correct the situation apart from hoping that their luck would be better next time. Some people  will probably pray to god more or increase their offerings to god for him to bless them with better luck next time.

External LOC people end up attributing their success or even failure to other people. If they succeed, then it’s because of others (that’s ok in a sense since it at least looks nice and humble) but when they face failure, they blame others for it. They blame their parents, teachers, boss, company, country, policies, environment, other events etc. etc. the list is endless. They are experts in playing the Blame Game. Everyone else is responsible for the problem except they themselves. These people too, don’t take any corrective action.  They just hope that others will do the needful and others will behave better and be more supportive next time.

Internal LOC people in contrast, are the ones who take ownership for whatever has happened in life. Whether it is success or failure. In both cases, they take ownership. When faced with failure, they never blame others or their luck but instead think about what incorrect action THEY took and how THEY can do it better next time. They identify specific actions that need to be taken and implement those.

In my view, to be successful in life, we must have a dominant Internal Locus of Control. I am not saying that we must take 100% blame. That would be unreasonable, since circumstances, other people  and luck do play a certain role at times. but that can be limited to 10% -20% or at the most 30% . However, majorly we must take ownership for our actions and our decisions and their outcome, and then identify what WE need to do differently next time to lead us to success.

Wish you a wonderful day ahead !!

In my last post, I have written about the importance of having one’s profession in one’s area of interest. However, there are a couple of other factors that also matter, which decide whether you’ll be successful  in that profession over the long term.

The Ikigai, as shown in the Venn diagram above is an area where four circles overlap. The four circles represent the following four factors:

1. What we love to do
2. What we are good at
3. What the world needs
4. What we can get paid for

As mentioned earlier, the start point is to identify what we love to do. i.e. our areas of interest. We need to find out all those things which we would enjoy doing if we were supposed to do it for a lifetime. Very often there could be multiple areas that meet this criteria.

The next thing that we need to check is whether this is something that the world needs today as well as in the long term. It may not necessarily be something that the entire world needs but may be something that a specific set of people or companies require.

We also need to check if we could get paid for doing this task, and if yes, how much? would it be enough to ensure a good income that can take care of our current and future expenses.

Then finally, we need to check if we have the ability or skill related to that area. We are checking for skill a the end, since it the first three are fulfilled, then developing skill is something that can definitely be done if we are willing to put in the required time, money and effort.

Think about this, would it be of any use if our profession was in our area of interest but if the world didn’t need it or if we couldn’t get paid for it. Would we be happy if we were in a profession that was needed by the world, we got paid for it, but we weren’t interested in it. That would make our professional life boring.

We also need to take into consideration paradigm shifts since often, over a period of time, certain professions simply move out of the circle “Does the world need this” i.e. certain products or services just become redundant over the years.

To see what happens when our choice fulfills three of the criteria but not all four, check out the figure below.

I chose Training in the field of Leadership, Behavioral and Soft Skills, since it fulfilled all the four criteria. I was passionate about Training, The world needs it, I could get paid for it and therefore consciously developed the skill required to deliver training and keep trying to learn something new so that my skill remains updated all the while.

My work in the areas of Healing also fulfills all the 4 criteria. I am passionate about healing, I have developed the skill and have helped more than 450-500 people to heal, People need healing and are willing to pay for it. Although right now, I don’t look at is as a source of earning, who knows ..this could possibly become a significant source of earning some day.

I recommend that you too use the Ikigai model to choose your profession and trust me, you’ll be happy and successful for a lifetime. Have a nice day ahead !!